Still here, still with us

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In my first post in this blog I wrote about the loss of a girlfriend of mine and as we friends are all trying to cope with our pain.
As many people of my age, I have lost my grandparents or some relatives due to old age or cancer. But in a way, I was prepared to all that. You learn from the start that you are going to face losses like those. “That’s life” they say and “Death is a blessing sometimes”. I agree and know it’s true.
But when I received a call from M., a close friend of mine, that day of January, something totally new and terrible burst inside.
She was crying and murmured “something happened. Something so horrible I don’t know how to tell you”. G.’s car slipped on some ice on her way to work and crashed against a truck. We lost our G., an amazing mix of joy, kindness, smartness, in a second.
Those days are kind of blurred in my head, like I’m trying to detect moments, faces and words through all the tears we all shed.

After 10 months, I still can’t believe it happened. My rational part tells me everyday she’s not here with us any longer, but my heart still skips a beat once in a while, when I spot someone who looks like her.
I miss you, wonderful G. We all do.
Thank God I see you in my dreams. We friends often dream about her: she says she’s fine and she smiles a lot every time; we know it’s not possible, but she’s with us so nobody says a word, lest she could disappear. The circumstances change but the basic idea is the same, over and over.
I’m usually not mystical or into religion much, but I believe in those dreams, I need to think she’s ok and doing fine. I know for sure she’s amusing everyone up there and one day we’ll finally be together and have so much fun again πŸ™‚
See you my lovely friend and thank you for your visit last night, you make me laugh every time.
We are taking care of him, don’t you worry my dear. We won’t forget you. Ever.


2 thoughts on “Still here, still with us

    Daisy Flynn said:
    November 8, 2013 at 10:26 am

    What a breathtaking piece of writing. It’s sad but so wonderful to read

    arytee responded:
    November 8, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    Thank you so much Daisy, it’s hard to go on some days. But whatelse could we do? Writing about our feelings heps for sure. And smiling as well, she wore a wide smile on her face all the time. πŸ™‚

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